[Please join me in praying for parents, children, families, and our future on Thursdays this year.]
“May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God,
and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all.” (2 Corinthians 13:14 NIV)
My Bible Recap plan had me somewhere in Judges and I read the story of Samson again. As you may remember, I already wrote several posts on him earlier this year, but this time something different struck me. To review: A messenger angel of the Lord came to the wife of Manoah, a man of the Israelite tribe of Dan, to tell her 1) she was barren and childless, but 2) she would become pregnant and have a son, then 3) she should not eat or drink anything unclean because the boy was to be a Nazarite, dedicated to God from the womb, and 4) Samson’s purpose would be to “take the lead” in delivering Israel from their oppressors the Philistines. So the woman went to her husband and told him about the angel’s message. In response, he prayed and asked God to send an angel to teach them how to parent this boy. The angel helped them understand what it meant to raise a Nazarite child – even from the womb. Evidently, Samson’s parents were spiritually mature enough to take on these responsibilities, but humble enough to ask for help in fulfilling them.
The Bible doesn’t tell us much about Samson’s growing up years, except that, “The woman gave birth to a boy and named him Samson. He grew and the Lord blessed him, and the Spirit of the Lord began to stir him while he was in Mahaneh Dan [his home].” (Judges 13:24-25 NIV). The Lord blessed him and the Spirit of God was upon him, but by the time he was a young adult he was a bit demanding.
“Samson went down to Timnah and saw there a young Philistine woman. When he returned, he said to his father and mother, ‘I have seen a Philistine woman in Timnah; now get her for me as my wife.’ His father and mother replied, ‘Isn’t there an acceptable woman among your relatives or among all our people? Must you go to the uncircumcised Philistines to get a wife?’ But Samson said to his father, ‘Get her for me. She’s the right one for me.'” (Judges 14:1-3 NIV)
Not only was he not supposed to marry a non-Israelite, but he was very disrespectful to his parents. If you continue reading Samson’s story, things seem to go from bad to worse. He repeatedly breaks his Nazarite vows when he touches dead bodies, eats honey, and kills people. He schemes and his actions end in the deaths of his wife and her father. His lust seems to have been his downfall; the Philistine woman he liked (again – a NON-Israelite!!) ends up taking bribes so that he is captured, his strength is destroyed, and they even gouge out his eyes.
We don’t hear directly from his parents again. However, after his death at the very end of his story, the Bible says, “Then his brothers and his father’s whole family went down to get [his body]. They brought him back and buried him between Zorah and Eshtaol in the tomb of Manoah his father. He had led Israel twenty years.” (Judges 16:31 NIV). Probably, then, after twenty years in adulthood, his father had passed away.
I wonder what heartache his parents felt watching his life unfold after he left their home.
After all, he was responsible for the deaths of his wife, father-in-law, and many people, he conspired to get his way, and his lust ended in his blindness and death. If I had been a parent seeing all this happen, I would have been so disappointed and sad at the choices my child had made.
But God.
Thankfully, God’s view is not ours. He can see the long view. He can take things that look like a total and complete mess and bring good out of them. He can “redeem the years lost to the locusts.” Even at the beginning of his story, the Bible slips in this parenthetical note: “His parents did not know that [Samson’s interest in the Philistine woman] was from the Lord, who was seeking an occasion to confront the Philistines; for at that time they were ruling over Israel.” (Judges 14:4 NIV). His parents didn’t know that God was using Samson’s sins to deal with the enemies of God’s people, the Philistines.
If you are the parent or grandparent – or sibling, or relative, or friend, or… – of someone who is not walking in God’s ways, you may also be struggling to see good come out of certain situations. Your loved one’s choices may be anywhere from bad, to sinful, to destructive. “Prodigal” implies that the person will eventually return to the right path, but at this point that may seem impossible to you. If you, like Samson’s parents, parented a child who is not walking with God now, your heart may be breaking.
Allow me to share a moment of grace with you. Several years ago at a conference I heard a saying that I have found very helpful. “You are responsible to God for your parenting, but your [adult] children are responsible for their choices.” Samson’s parents were intentional about raising him with an understanding of his identity and calling from God. Yet, Samson chose to break his vows and make other choices that led to hurt and death. Still, we are told that Samson’s life was used by God to cut down the Philistines. Similarly, we can’t always see how God will use something that seems so messed up and even hopeless.
Today, hear God’s heart for you and for your children:
“Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take [my thorn] away from me. But [God] said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” (2 Corinthians 12:8-9 NIV)
God’s grace is sufficient for your weaknesses and every place you struggle with guilt, shame, regret, fear, self-condemnation, and whatever else the enemy throws at you. God’s grace IS sufficient.
Ultimately, God’s heart is that your loved one will return to relationship with God so he can heal them and love them. In the meantime, hold fast to your prayers for that restoration and lean into God’s grace.
Good and Grace-full God,
You are our rock, refuge, and salvation, our fortress that will not be shaken, trustworthy at all times. Our hope comes from you, O Lord our God, who redeems time and situations and people. Today we come to you to intercede for our children, grandchildren, relatives, and friends who knew you and walked with you at one time but now are not. We pray in the name of Jesus that you would put people or bring about events in their lives that would cause them to turn away from sin and death and turn to you. For each one who has heard the Good News of Jesus Christ but has turned away from it, we pray that your Spirit would bring back to life that seed and you would protect the growth of that hope. Force aside all barriers to their coming back to a faith relationship and protect them from the attacks of the enemy of our souls. Heal their waywardness and pour out your love on them, we pray. We also pray for a great mantle of grace to be upon parents who, like Samson’s parents, did their best to raise their children in the faith, but have had to watch them choose other paths. We pray against every guilt, shame, regret, fear, and self-condemnation that comes against them and we pray that these parents would know the sufficiency of your grace in every weakness. We cannot see your thoughts and ways that are so much higher than ours, but we know with great confidence that you can cause all things to be used for good. We pray that you would honor the parents who have raised children in the way they should go, and that you would turn the children’s current waywardness into something good that can be used by you to further your Kingdom. We pray that you would restore the years of relationships these spiritual locusts have eaten. Break the power of wickedness in these prodigals lives and in regrets of the parents’ lives, but uphold, guard, guide, protect, and provide for them in ways that they will definitively know that you are Lord God Almighty. We ask all this is in the strong name of Jesus Christ our Lord, AMEN.
“Train up a child in the way he should go [teaching him to seek God’s wisdom and will for his abilities and talents], Even when he is old he will not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22:6 AMP)
“The power of the wicked will be broken,
but the Lord upholds the righteous.” (Psalm 37:17 NIV)
“I will heal their waywardness and love them freely,
for my anger has turned away from them.” (Hosea 14:4 NIV)
“As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” (Isaiah 55:9 NIV)
“And we know [with great confidence] that God [who is deeply concerned about us] causes all things to work together [as a plan] for good for those who love God, to those who are called according to His plan and purpose.” (Romans 8:28 AMP)
“I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten— the great locust and the young locust, the other locusts and the locust swarm— my great army that I sent among you.” (Joel 2:25 NIV)
“Yes, my soul, find rest in God;
my hope comes from him.
Truly he is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.
My salvation and my honor depend on God;
he is my mighty rock, my refuge.
Trust in him at all times, you people;
pour out your hearts to him,
for God is our refuge.” (Psalm 62:5-8 NIV)