“I will sing to the Lord all my life;
I will sing praise to my God as long as I live.”
(Psalm 104:33 NIV)
Two weeks ago my 101-year-old grandmother was in the hospital because of a bad cough they didn’t really diagnose. She was released to return with hospice care to her assisted living facility. Easter afternoon I began the 9 1/2 hour drive to come see her, knowing that this may be my last opportunity. We both attended my cousin’s wedding last September and she was up, walking, smiling, and conversing. When I saw her yesterday afternoon it was sobering to see her seemingly tiny body swallowed up by a hospital bed. She no longer leaves the bed, but her mind is still well able to carry on conversations, relive memories, and tell stories. For the few days I can be here, I will listen and attend to her as best I can.
Last night I washed my grandmother’s feet. My father had suggested we soak her feet in epsom salts so we wrapped warm towels in the solution. In the process I noticed things I’d never seen before. Did I know she had tiny toenails on her big toes? Did I realize her skin was paper thin? Were the large black bruises bedsores or just the reality of having other people – even very caring ones – picking you up, rolling you over, and otherwise physically handling your body? (My aunt is there with her practically 24/7, so I know Grandma is receiving good care. She is in no pain, thanks be to God.)
I wonder what Jesus noticed and thought about when he washed the disciples’ feet. Would he have remembered the countless miles they had traveled around Israel in the three years they spent together? Would he have smiled at this one’s clumsiness or that one’s tendency to dance or this one’s constant complaints about sore feet? Could he see their futures? When he washed feet, did he see the young John who would care for Jesus’s mother Mary and later write letters from exile to the church in his old age? Did he see the many people Thomas would evangelize in the Indian subcontinent? Did he see Peter as the leader of the local Jewish believers who was eventually crucified with his feet in the air? Was Jesus thinking about how painful the nailing of his feet to the cross just the next day would be? I don’t know.
I’m not sure how to close this up. A sermon about Jesus’s washing of the disciples’ feet (John 13) would probably emphasize the need to serve each other. Many people would write some sort of exaltation of their dying loved one. I don’t want or need to go either place today. I just want to sit with my memories of tiny toenails and thin skin. I want be grateful that I’ve had this many years with my grandmother and that now while others do most of her care, I can wash her feet.
God,
For the gift of each day we give you thanks. For memories, stories, and loved ones who we can serve we give you thanks. For hope for our futures here on earth and also in heaven we give you thanks. For the security of the love of God in Christ Jesus, whom we serve, we give you thanks. Amen.
“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 8:38-39 NIV)