Recently I joined the Facebook “community” and since then have reconnected (intentionally) with a few friends from grad school and relatives I haven’t seen in awhile. That is one of the nice advantages of having such a place – finding long-lost friends. But, then, sometimes that ability to reconnect is also a liability, as two people from a long time ago (in my life) have contacted me and wanted to be Facebook “friends.”
These specific two people are guys I was involved with in one way or another at different times. [Fast forward 15-20 years and we’re all married with kids. But that’s not this story.] I remember each of these guys in the context of my shame at the choices I made with them. So, while I may be somewhat curious about how their lives have turned out, my larger reaction even after all these years is, “ugh. I thought I’d put that memory, that person behind me. And here he is showing up again, reminding me of things I would rather forget.”
And it dawned on me the other day that the Evil One uses his whispers of “shame on you” and “I bet they haven’t forgotten” and “you were sure dumb then” to pull me down. When the truth is that repentance is about turning away from sin and turning toward God. I made (and continue to make) my choice to be serious about my relationship with God. As that happens I continue to better understand God’s love, grace, forgiveness and – get this – forgetfulness – in a way that I can’t concisely put into words.
A guy at church calls all this emotional garbage “skubalon,” which is a (real) Greek word meaning “refuge” and “things worthless and detestable.” I would imagine that there are more people out there with a conscience, people who have made foolish choices that they now regret, people that would rather forget pieces of their past, especially their own set of skubalon. I keep having to remind myself that it’s those things that Jesus came to forgive. Those places in our memories and hearts he came to heal. Those whispers for which he came to say, “Peace, be still.” Those lives that he came to redeem from the Pit and point toward the Great Banquet Feast the Father has prepared for us. The Evil One would like to distract us from the reality of our identity, seen through the blood of Christ, as precious children of the King of Kings. When we acknowledge that those whispers are nothing but distraction, we can go on to embrace the Way, the Truth and the Abundant Life we are offered.
I was talking this over with a friend last night and she reminded me that maybe God has let me keep those (“I wish they were gone”) memories to help me have more mercy and grace for others who are also making choices that are not of God. Maybe those thorns I carry help me to be more compassionate to others who are still tangled in the thorny bush. Maybe the Crown of Thorns is a symbol of all that skubalon being nailed to the Cross and we bear it no more, praise the Lord!
My prayer for each of us is for forgetfulness…for redemption…for skubalon forgiven…for freedom from thorns carried many years and many miles…for a tender and humble heart to extend grace to others and to ourselves…for the heart to know what is of Evil and what is the voice of God…for joy in the Lord to embrace the Abundant Life as God’s Children, enjoying the heavenly feast with Jesus…Maranatha, Lord Jesus, Come.
“…Anyone united with the Messiah gets a fresh start, is created new. The old life is gone; a new life burgeons! Look at it! All this comes from the God who settled the relationship between us and him, and then called us to settle our relationships with each other. God put the world square with himself through the Messiah, giving the world a fresh start by offering forgiveness of sins.” (2 Cor. 5:16 MSG)