Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. (2 Corinthians 1:3-4 NIV)
The other night, as we were getting ready to run an errand, I thought, “I wonder if the dog would like to ride along in the car.” What had once been a joyful habit quickly became painful when I remembered that our sweet Gigi is no longer here to go for rides. Two days after my dad passed away unexpectedly in December, I had to call the vet to put our dog down because her body could no longer withstand the bladder cancer. Her grave is in our backyard, but I deeply miss her presence in our home.
Today would have been my dad’s 82nd birthday. Because I hadn’t lived with my dad for decades and had only visited him, I don’t feel the same sense of missing his daily presence. Still, when I was at the house with my mom, it felt strange not to see him in his usual chair at the table or his spot on the sofa. It was especially difficult to sit in the car seat where he died. I was reminded of a verse from the song “Empty Chairs at Empty Tables” in the musical Les Misérables. The song centers on one man, mourning the student revolutionaries who were killed, with the empty chairs symbolizing his friends who dreamed, fought, and died together.
There’s a grief that can’t be spoken
There’s a pain goes on and on
Empty chairs at empty tables
Now my friends are dead and gone*
Although this particular song is focused on those who died for their cause, and not the loss of a pet or loved one, the concept of emptiness – lack of presence – is real. A chair is just a chair, except it holds a memory of where a loved one once was.
The loyal dog that loved sleeping on the bed near me is not there any more.
When I go to my childhood home, Dad doesn’t greet me at the door or wave to me as I leave.
Not too long ago I thought of something I wished I could show him…but, no. No more is there an earthly way to communicate with Dad.
I have a friend whose wife of 50+ years died after a battle with cancer.
I have a friend whose youngest daughter has chosen a lifestyle that doesn’t include her parents.
I have a friend who lost a baby to stillbirth.
Perhaps one of the most real things about grief is that it shows us how much presence matters.
Presence can be meals provided, conversations shared, hugs given, or silence shared. Presence can be errands run, phone calls made, or cards sent. Prayers for the comforting Presence of the Holy Spirit are especially precious.
Today, let us be present for each other. Let us pray for each other, encourage each other, and bless each other with love and grace.
God,
Praise be to you, the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles. Thank you that we can comfort others in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from you. Today we pray that you would be near to the brokenhearted and those crushed in spirit. Help us to be people who are present and who bring encouragement, grace, and blessing to those around us. May your presence comfort those who mourn and lift up the brokenhearted. We pray in Jesus’s name, AMEN.
The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. (Psalm 34:18 NIV)
*Songwriters: L. David Lewis / Kim Williams / Edward Monroe Hill
Empty Chairs at Empty Tables lyrics © Universal Music – Careers, Alain Boublil Music Ltd.