And regarding the question, friends, that has come up about what happens to those already dead and buried, we don’t want you in the dark any longer. First off, you must not carry on over them like people who have nothing to look forward to, as if the grave were the last word. Since Jesus died and broke loose from the grave, God will most certainly bring back to life those who died in Jesus. (1 Thessalonians 4:13 MSG)
It has now been six months since my dad died. I do not wish him back into the body that struggled physically, and I know I will see him again in heaven. But since he passed on, there have been things I have wanted to tell him—things that I could only speak (or write) “to the wind.”
For instance, I learned how to use our family’s tractor and even how to snowplow last winter. Our oldest son and his wife welcomed their first foster child. And Mom, after all these years of refusing indoor animals, now has an indoor cat. Perhaps Dad already knows these things, but it would still be nice to be able to call him and tell him myself.
That is no longer an option. With life comes death, and he has gone from this life to one that is better by far. We are left with memories, a legacy, and the hope of spending eternity together in God’s presence.
At the Aglow conference I attended recently, one of the first things God spoke to my heart about was grief.
Dr. Pat Chen said that if we do not grieve now, we will grieve later.
I know I grieved deeply during the first weeks after my dad died. I also know people who—for various reasons—do not grieve in the immediate aftermath of a death. Grief is a deeply personal journey that changes over time but never fully disappears. Yet when we are attuned to God’s voice, we become aware of His ever-present presence, comforting us, strengthening us, and sustaining us in the lowest places of grieving.
But Dr. Chen challenged me with something I had never really considered. From my notes:
Grieve to release them so that you can be released from dependence on them and on their relationship with God. If you think, ‘I still need them because they have something I need,’ recognize that they are gone. Something inside you must now die so that God can do a tremendous work within you. God is absolutely jealous for you. When something dies, He replaces it with His presence. Trust Him in this process. Lay down your grief, sorrow, emptiness, and expectations so that He can fill those places within you. The more you are a broken vessel, the more beautiful He can make you.
No one likes to be broken by God—unless they have walked through that experience enough times to recognize His hand in the process and the many blessings that come through seasons of breaking. God’s grace is sufficient for us in every season of life.
Today, if there is something you need to release in order to make room for more of God, I encourage you to invite Him into that space. God truly does make all things beautiful in His time—including loss—for those who trust in Him. He is the One who gives us the oil of joy in place of mourning and turns despair into rejoicing. He binds up the brokenhearted and calls them to abide more deeply in Him so that we may be filled to the fullness of His love.
God of Hope,
Thank You for being close to the brokenhearted and for saving those who are crushed in spirit, especially those who grieve the loss of loved ones through death. Thank You for the hope You offer as Your presence meets us in painful places, and as we look forward to eternity with You.
Help us to release to You what no longer serves us, and to allow You to fill those places with more of Your Holy Spirit. Today we ask that You would comfort all who mourn, and bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.
We ask this in Jesus’s name. AMEN.
If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body. (Philippians 1:22-24 NIV)
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. (Psalm 34:18 NIV)
But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. (2 Corinthians 4:7 NIV)
[God] said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12:9-10 NIV)
The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,
because the Lord has anointed me
to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners,
to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor
and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair. (Isaiah 61:1-3 NIV)