I am the Lord, the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for me? (Jeremiah 32:27 NIV)
A friend of mine posted this on her social media account this fall. Please pray for parents who are doing all they can do to help children with mental illness.
Parenting a child with severe mental illness is like living life in a landmine field; You never really know when the next step will cause another explosion. You live every minute in high-stress fight or flight mode. You love and fight FOR them while simultaneously being attacked BY them. You wake up in the night panicked. You dread when morning comes, not knowing whether today will be sweetly mundane or a bloody warzone.
You’re forced to stand between one child and the other so the one won’t get injured from the fallout of this illness. The line between friend and foe seems blurry sometimes. You simultaneously feel protective of this child while also needing protection FROM them. You pray for a break, for just a day of peace, of rest. But when it comes, there’s no peace. No rest. Just sheer exhaustion.
And the need to be there for your other children who get constantly neglected because the mentally ill child requires all of you. The other children who are living this too, traumatized daily by their own sibling, and who wrestle with feelings of hatred, hardness, and vengeance because they’re living in abuse and watching their parents be abused. But in this moment, you have NOTHING left to give them. And you feel like you have to choose between your kids; which one will you defend? Because your other children’s lives are being destroyed by this. How will this impact their future??
And there’s no help. No real help. Just buckets of prescriptions, “crisis” teams that take an hour to arrive and do nothing to help. Therapies and meetings and safety plans that are a part-time job to maintain but do not produce lasting results. And psych hospitals that offer a few days of treatment to “fix” a lifetime of hell…IF you’re lucky enough to actually get a bed. And if you do, you still get no rest. Meetings. Phone calls. Long drives. Hours and hours and hours. Spending money you don’t have and aren’t earning. Days off work while you do all the work for this.
Guilt. Shame. Questioning what you did wrong. Overwhelming sadness. Wanting to be with them and so thankful you’re not all at the same time. Cue more guilt.
And sheer exhaustion. The kind that makes sleep impossible while your mind races and your body processes the trauma. It’s not a “break” at all, because the other kids finally have space now to express their emotions, their pain. But you have nothing left to help them.
And then you also have to plan for their return home. Should you spend more money you don’t have for cameras everywhere and bedroom locks and alarms and safes? What will happen? How can we truly feel safe? How can this child be safe? Why are you required by law to allow your abuser to live at home, threatened with a felony if you refuse? Why is there no other option?? What is going to be different THIS time?
Nothing. And then the reality hits that you’re stuck in an abusive relationship that will never end because you’re the parent of your abuser. And all the sadness and fear and hopelessness floods your soul once again.
So be kind. You have no idea what people might be going through. And PLEASE, for the love of God, do not judge or offer your ridiculous parenting advice if you’ve never lived this special kind of hell.
Instead, pray. Actually pray. Because our ONLY hope is a miracle. Only Jesus.
El Shaddai, the Almighty One,
You are the All-Powerful One; the God who is more than enough; you are our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Today we come to you to intercede for parents who are raising mentally ill children. We know that you are close to the brokenhearted and save those who are crushed in spirit, so we pray you are present to them in the chaos, the pain, the fear, the despair, and the struggle that they endure on a daily basis. Strengthen them and uphold them with your compassionate and righteous right hand. Pour out wisdom and counsel upon them as they navigate life with children you created and love, but are broken in such horrendous ways.
We pray in the name of Jesus for them to have the resources they need – physical, psychological, financial, emotional, relational, and spiritual. May your Church rise up to support and bless these families. May the people of your Church be protectors, encouragers, and mentors to parents and other children of those who are ill. May your Church comfort those in any trouble, carry burdens for, and walk alongside these struggling families not with judgement, but with overwhelming compassion.
In Jesus’s name, we pray for a miracle of healing for those with mental illness. We pray for complete and whole restoration of their mind and emotions so they line up with the perfect creation of the Lord Jesus Christ. We pray that the legal, educational, and medical/psychological systems that are in place would help and support these families.
We pray that the peace of God will guard these families’ hearts and minds, filling them with all joy and peace as they trust in you. We ask all this in the powerful name of Jesus Christ, AMEN.
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. (Psalm 34:18 NIV)
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. (Isaiah 41:10 NIV)
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. (2 Corinthians 1:3–4 NIV)
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea. (Psalm 46:1-2 NIV)
Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. (Galatians 6:2 NIV)
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6–7 NIV)
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. (Romans 15:13 NIV)
(h/t S.B.)