(This article is by James Goll, and I wrote the prayer.)
Yahweh is my best friend and my shepherd.
I always have more than enough.
He offers a resting place for me in his luxurious love.
His tracks take me to an oasis of peace near the quiet brook of bliss.
That’s where he restores and revives my life.
He opens before me the right path
and leads me along in his footsteps of righteousness
so that I can bring honor to his name.
Even when your path takes me through
the valley of deepest darkness,
fear will never conquer me, for you already have!
Your authority is my strength and my peace.
The comfort of your love takes away my fear.
I’ll never be lonely, for you are near.
You become my delicious feast
even when my enemies dare to fight.
You anoint me with the fragrance of your Holy Spirit;
you give me all I can drink of you until my cup overflows.
So why would I fear the future?
Only goodness and tender love pursue me all the days of my life.
Then afterward, when my life is through,
I’ll return to your glorious presence to be forever with you!
(Psalm 23 TPT)
I do not remember how many of my kids were home that day, but I felt so overwhelmed that I retreated to the privacy of my bedroom and began to sob uncontrollably. Before long, weeping even harder, I went into my bathroom and shut the door. What I really wanted to do was to crawl into a hole in the ground and never come out, but that was impossible. So, to put as much distance between myself and my painful situation as I could, I went through the only remaining door, which led to my walk-in closet. With three doors between me and the rest of the house, I thought maybe I could hide from not only my family but also from God…
Victory is defined differently in different seasons of life. Sometimes, just to keep inching forward through the valley of the shadow of death is an absolute victory. Staying on your feet and following him is a victory. Paths of righteousness are not always particularly smooth. The Good Shepherd wants to be with you, and he is working overtime to seek you out. If you feel the way I did, you may not know yet whether you want him to find you.
In the early weeks of my time of deep loss and sorrow, I was ministering in Seoul, South Korea. I was so dead inside that I did not know if I ever wanted to preach again in my lifetime. But I was one of the recognized and somewhat well-known speakers, and I was expected to come up with something.
Desperately, I prayed, Oh God, help me! And he did.
He turned my attention to the living Word of God, both the written Word and the living Word that dwells inside me.
The living Word brings resurrection power.
Drawing on the resurrected life of the One who lives inside of me, I got out my notes, picked up my Bible, and made myself walk to that podium in a packed auditorium with my Korean translator. I gave it everything I had, and I preached on something like “Contending for Your Prophetic Promise,” even though I felt I had completely lost mine.
After that message, a significant international leader told me, “James, that was the best job of preaching I have ever heard you do.”
What a miracle! I still felt dead, but I knew God was alive inside of me. God was at work to do his will and his great pleasure in and through me.
It confirmed what I had learned a long time before: that the life I live is not my own but his.
And he will take care of me, restore me, refresh me, and even allow me to bless others—all because of the unbearable suffering.
That restores my soul, my faith, and my hope.*
Jesus,
Thank you for suffering on the cross for our sins. Thank you for the hope you give us through your suffering and ours. Thank you for your presence and power upon us when we are emotionally and spiritually empty. Resurrect the dead parts of our lives. Renew our minds, hearts and spirits with your written, living Word. Fill up our internal wells with your Spirit so we are healed from trauma and pain. Restore our hope, we pray in your name, AMEN.
*https://www.thepassiontranslation.com/healing-for-your-pain-and-hope-for-your-trauma/