For you have been my hope, Sovereign Lord,
my confidence since my youth.
My mouth is filled with your praise,
declaring your splendor all day long.
My mouth will tell of your righteous deeds,
of your saving acts all day long—
though I know not how to relate them all.
I will come and proclaim your mighty acts, Sovereign Lord;
I will proclaim your righteous deeds, yours alone. (Psalm 71:5, 8, 15, 16 NIV)
God, I’m really struggling with you today.
Why, Child?
Because I know in the depths of my being that you are sovereign, yet you allow good, godly people who are important to your Kingdom work to get sick and even to die.
I am sovereign.
Then why don’t you heal her? Your Word says that you bore ALL our wounds and sicknesses upon yourself at the Cross and that by your wounds we are healed. So, why is she sick? She’s a woman of deep, deep faith and profound prayer. She worships you. She serves you. Yet, without your divine intervention, she will probably leave this earth very soon.
I love her very much.
I know you do. But so do her husband and children and grandchildren. If she dies, some of her grandchildren will have no memories of her because they are too young. This saddens me.
It saddens me, too.
Then why don’t you do something? You assigned an Angel of Healing, and Angel of Glory, and Angel of Breakthrough, and an Angel of Authority to our local church. Where are they in this situation – especially the Angel of Healing? And please don’t tell me that your ways and thoughts are higher than mine and that I can’t see what you can see.
You already know that.
Yes.
Do you remember the question that Rev. Johnson asked you so many years ago.
Yes. “What Bible person do you feel like right now? Who do you identify with?”
So?
So what?
So, which of those people – their situations, their lives, their faith – do you see yourself as right now?
I don’t know. The weeping Prophet Jeremiah? The sisters of Lazarus? The exiles on their way to Assyria?
Those are pretty heavy and depressing situations. Is there anything you can think of that is more hopeful?
I’m pretty melancholy.
Maybe in your own strength, but I want you to draw on my strength. Drink deeply from my well of hope. Don’t drown in your sorrows, but drown yourself in my peace.
I don’t know, God. Ruth lost her husband, and set out on a journey with “Mara,” bitterness. We know that her story ended well but I can’t imagine that leaving her home country to go live with her mother-in-law in her home country would have been easy.
It wasn’t. But keep thinking of stories. There’s some with more hope.
Mary Magdalene being set free from demons?
Ok. Keep going.
Bathsheba losing her infant son because of David’s sin?
That one is a little complicated. But you’re a little like David. You’ve been praying and fasting and weeping over your friend, just as David did his son.
Yes, I have. As of right now, I don’t know if my friend is going to “turn the corner” and be healed by you or if she’s going to “go be with Jesus.”
What did David do once he knew the baby was dead?
He arose from the ground, washed and anointed himself, and changed his clothes; and he went into the house of the Lord and worshiped.
You do not need to wait until you know where she is today. You just need to focus on me and praise and worship me.
I don’t really feel like it.
Yes, but your emotions aren’t the driving force in your life. My Spirit within you is. Healthy emotions are a gift I gave you, but like all gifts they can be warped. I want you to tell your soul – your mind, your will, and your emotions – that it’s time to praise and worship me. Whatever happens to your friend today, I still want your worship.
Like this song, God?
I don’t understand your ways
Oh but I will give you my song
give you all of my praise
you hold on to all my pain
with it you are pulling me closer
and pulling me into your ways
Now around every corner
up every mountain
I’m not looking for crowns
or water from fountains
I’m desperate in seeking, frantic believing
that the sight of your face
is all that I’m needing
I will say to you
Its gonna be worth it,
Its gonna be worth it all,
I believe this.
Its gonna be worth it,
Its gonna be worth it all,
I believe this.*
Yes, Child. I love you. It will be worth it all. All of it. It will be worth it. Keep seeking me, keep worshipping me, keep drawing on my strength, my hope and my peace. I am sovereign. And I am Love. It will be worth it all.
AMEN.
“Worth It All” by Bradley Michael Noah / Kevin Duane Young / Timothy Dwayne Barrett, Recorded by Rita Springer
So David arose from the ground, washed and anointed himself, and changed his clothes; and he went into the house of the Lord and worshiped. Then he went to his own house; and when he requested, they set food before him, and he ate. 21 Then his servants said to him, “What is this that you have done? You fasted and wept for the child while he was alive, but when the child died, you arose and ate food.”
22 And he said, “While the child was alive, I fasted and wept; for I said, ‘Who can tell whether the Lord will be gracious to me, that the child may live?’ 23 But now he is dead; why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me.” (2 Samuel 12 NKJV)
A Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief.
And we hid, as it were, our faces from Him;
He was despised, and we did not esteem Him.
Surely He has borne our griefs
And carried our sorrows;
Yet we esteemed Him stricken,
Smitten by God, and afflicted.
But He was wounded for our transgressions,
He was bruised for our iniquities;
The chastisement for our peace was upon Him,
And by His stripes we are healed. (Isaiah 53:3-5 NKJV)